Something Borrowed

Review coming soon.

No Strings Attached

Yes...

... although I say that, mostly because I thought it would be terrible and I didn't end up hating it. It's nice to see Portman lighten up a little bit since she tends to take on heavier roles. Kutcher is exactly the same as he always is... just kinda there.

There isn't a whole lot to say about No Strings Attached. It's a good date movie in that women will like it and men won't hate it. If you're looking for something like that, here it is.

The Dilemma

Uhhh... no.

The Dilemma is sort of a weird film. It's really more of a drama with funny parts than it is a comedy.

The second weekend in January is a weekend of strange marriages between director and material. I thought it was odd from the get go that Ron Howard was attached to direct this movie. I find it hard to believe that, in his right mind, the Academy Award winning director of A Beautiful Mind, Apollo 13, and Frost/Nixon chose to produce this heaping pile of crud. The Dilemma is Ron Howard's version of a Corvette in the driveway and we're the disillusioned spouse who walk out of the theatre, looks at Ronny and asks, "Who's movie is that in the driveway?"

I don't like Vince Vaughn. Let me just take a minute to go over some movies that Vince Vaughn was actually in. Keep in mind that they aren't necessarily good movies, but the do show that he has a little bit more range than he's limited himself to. Here goes: Domestic Disturbance, Swingers, Return to Paradise, Jurassic Park II, Psycho, Made, The Cell, Clay Pigeons. Then he made Old School, which some people apparently liked, and Vince Vaughn's destiny was set. From that day forward, he's played the same fast talking clown in every movie he's made with the occasional acknowledgement of worthy projects like Thumbsucker and Into the Wild.

Kevin James has fallen into the wrong crowd. I hate that he's best friends with the Sandler clan and it's a little off putting. I loved his stand-up routine, but it's been pretty downhill since. Jennifer Connelly was clearly just doing a favor for the director responsible for her Academy Award and apparently Winona Ryder is on some kind of a comeback tour with small roles in Star Trek and Black Swan. She probably thought she'd found her very own version of John Travolta's Pulp Fiction when she landed a major role in a Ron Howard film. Unfortunately, the joke was on her.

I case you haven't figured it out yet, there's little to nothing that I can say I liked about The Dilemma... but that's just because it's a terrible movie.

Morning Glory

No.

I get when celebrated actors feel the need to do something light, and I'm sure Diane Keaton is a nice lady, but why is she allowed to continue to make schlocky movies. She gets nominated for an Oscar once each decade. The last time was in 2004 for Something's Gotta Give... a romantic comedy... costarring Keanu Reeves and Amanda Peet. Maybe it's time she tries something a little more weighty than the last 5 movies she made (Mad Money, Because I Said So, The Family Stone, Something's Gotta Give and Town and Country). Anyway, she's barely in Morning Glory at all, so I'm not sure why she angered me so much...

... Maybe thats why I didn't like the movie, though. I truly wanted to care about these people, but really didn't have enough time to get to know them. The movie was too much about the show they producing and not enough about the people who were producing the show.

Morning Glory is one of those movies that, as a two hour film, is pretty inconsequential, but as an HBO or AMC character study, where we might learn to like some of these people and get to know them on a deeper level, it might have been entertaining.

The Switch

No.

The Switch was sort of a disappointment for me. Hindsight being 20/20, I sort of regret getting my hopes up so high for this romantic comedy, but the premise seemed so unique that I thought it might actually be somewhat original.

Jennifer Aniston plays the same character she always plays, which is essentially a variation on Rachel from Friends. Bateman isn't nearly as witty as he usually is because his character is so damned depressed throughout the whole movie and the rest of the cast is just as "whatever" as the the leads.

The Switch isn't unwatchable, it's just a pretty big let down. It falls into the category of movies with original concepts that just aren't executed well; a category that actually angers me. Check this one out on cable, it's not worth the cost of a ticket or a rental.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Yes.

I really liked Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. The plot is simple (but at least there is one), the humor is smart and goofy at the same time, and the performances are irrelevant.

Let's just get it out in the open so that it never has to be mentioned again... Michael Cera will never play a different character. Doesn't that feel good? Now, no one will ever have to be upset or surprised that he keeps playing the same character in every movie. I know it may seem hypocritical since I often complain about the likes of Nicholas Cage, Ben Stiller and Jack Black who also have made a career of playing the same role in whatever situations the new film they're in calls for. I guess what it ultimately boils down to is, "Do you like the character?" When it comes to Michael Cera, the answer for me is, "Yes... for now."

The movie as a whole, however, is just frenetic fun. It's visually exciting, aurally engrossing and intellectually numbing. It's tailor-made for people suffering from attention deficit disorder in that there are no (or very few) scene transitions. A characters will be in one scene talking with one person and once the point of the conversations is made clear to the viewer, the background behind the character will change mid-sentence and the same character will be in an entirely different location talking to different characters who have no idea what he's talking about.

While it may sound overwhelming, it's not and if you want to submerse yourself in crazy for a couple of hours I strongly recommend Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.

The Bounty Hunter

No... but what did you expect?

There is absolutely no chemistry between the two leads; Butler is a little bit hammy, Aniston, once again, plays Rachel from Friends and the supporting cast members don't provide very much support at all. The story is so formulaic that you can predict every scene and there are absolutely no surprises. The only redeeming quality about The Bounty Hunter is that is was (at least partially) shot on Long Island.

It's not the worst movie of the year, but... ech.

She's Out of My League

Yes.

Even though he had absolutely nothing to do with it, She's Out of My League could fit in with some of Judd Apatow's best work. The writer's behind this film also brought us the not-terrible Sex Drive and are also responsible for the potentially great Hot Tub Time Machine (releases in theatres on 3/26/10); it looks as if they are getting better and better by the film.

The director is virtually unknown, and his lack of experience shows. I counted at least 4 montages during She's Out of My League (which is 4 more than should be in any movie, post 1989). Those four don't include the two super short montages that were so short that I wasn't sure if they could be defined as a montage or not.

Jay Baruchel has begun his train ride to stardom. After stealing just about every scene he was in in Tropic Thunder and giving a convincing performance in this movie, he will be heard as the voice of the lead character in Dreamworks Animation's How to Train Your Dragon 3D and then stars opposite Nicolas Cage in Disney's live action summer blockbuster The Sorcerer's Apprentice. If he keeps this up, he'll be the lanky version of Shia LaBeouf in no time.

The story and the message are as unoriginal as any of the sequels and remakes that have been coming out lately, but what the plot is missing in originality, the screenplay makes up for.

Valentine's Day

Actually, if you turn ValentiNe's Day into a game it's not half bad... a game called "Which character is gay?" They did a pretty good job tricking me into thinking that the person I originally thought was gay actually wasn't. It was subtle, but strong... I didn't fall for it though, and ultimately, I won the game.

For those of you who don't like games, however, ValentiNNNNe's Day will be tedious. Don't forget that with so many different story lines, they all still need to be resolved and they do, resolve, every, last, story, line... ... ... ... ... ... At one point they went back to a story line that I thought they had already resolved and resolved it again.

In the entire 2 hours and 5 minutes, there was one, (ONE !) touching moment the rest of it was cotton candy. Too much sugary sweet cotton candy. You know what happens when you eat too much cotton candy? That's right... you get sick. You get sick all over the floor...

... so, no... you should not see ValentiNe's Day.

When in Rome

No.

Wow. Before I saw Leap Year, I had honestly forgotten just how bad these movies can be. Leap Year quickly reminded me, and I thought it really couldn't get any worse than that... When in Rome is worse than that.

There's absolutely no back story or connective tissue. At one point Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel are in Rome and then they are both back in NY. They never get into how Duhamel knows Bell's sister's fiancee. He writes a sports column for a newspaper, so he's not in any sort of international industry the might give him connections in other countries.

The taxi driver who's sole purpose in the movie is to smack us over the head with the film's premise, mentions that people travel from all over the world to throw a coin into the (fictional) Fontana di Amore to wish for true love. In a drunken, embarrassed fit, Bell's character takes coins from the fountain putting a spell on the men who threw them in. She just so happens to take the coins of 5 white American men... no women and no Italian, Chinese, Russian, British, or even African-Americans. Danny Devito was the oldest of the bunch and there were no teenagers on a school trip who's coins she took. The filmmakers had so many options as to who's coins she could have plucked from the fountain that could have made the situations naturally uncomfortable for her. Instead, they fabricate these strange, one-dimensional characters to chase her through Manhattan who in no way help her grow emotionally because of her interactions with them.

Do not waste your time and money on this absolute garbage.

Leap Year

No.

What a terrible, terrible movie. And what's worse is that people keep trying to defend it by saying its a girlie movie... well what is that supposed to mean?!?!?! Women, or girlies, don't deserve quality cinema? Isn't it possible to appeal to women's sensibilities without insulting their intelligence? Are all women as simpleminded as someone would have to be to enjoy this insipid, mindless twaddle?

The dialogue is the same throughout the first 30 minutes of the movie. All anyone talks about is the Irish tradition that makes up the premise of the movie and what a 'home stager' does. Then it turns into your typical 'fish out of water' gag for the majority of the movie. You can tell, based solely on the poster, how the movie will end, so there is little to no reason to spend two hours of your precious time waiting to see who gets the girl.

Well, here it is; welcome to January, folks. This is pretty much the best you're gonna get. I would recommend you take this time to catch up on the movies from last year that you missed in the theatre and are now out on DVD. I promise I'll let you know when it's safe to go back to the theatre.

The Ugly Truth

No.

The Ugly Truth was released in theatres on 7/24/09 and on DVD and Blu-ray on 11/10/09.

Yes, I did laugh. You will probably laugh as well, but the gags are of little to no substance and you will most likely forget what you thought was funny as soon as you take the disc out of your player.

There was nothing genuine or realistic about the situations in the movie. Every scene was specifically placed to set up the scene after it. With all of the industry folk who read my blog, I'm nervous to mention it, but The Ugly Truth probably would have made a better half-hour comedy series for HBO or Shotime because that's how it's set up.

The Ugly Truth television series outline:
Episode 1 - Introduction (girls wrestling in Jell-O)
Episode 2 - The Deal
Episode 3-4 - He gives her a make over. (Baseball game scene.)
Episode 7 - Vibrating Underwear.
Episode 10 - The trip to Collin Ferguson
Episode 11 - He quits.
Episode 12 - The balloon festival.

Fill it in with some actual, meaningful character development and you would have a pretty entertaining season of television. As a movie though, it's lacking in any kind of depth or realism and so is pretty unrelatable.

Like I said, I laughed and you probably will too... but then you'll forget that you even saw it... my parents saw it in theatres and when I told my mom that I got it from Netflix, she had absolutely no recollection of ever having seen it.

It's Complicated

Yes.

If you are the movies target demographic (45-dead) you will love It's Complicated. If you're under 45 and have seen everything else and have nothing else to do, It's Complicated is a fine way to spend 2 hours.

There is something of a double standard, though, and I found myself getting slightly angry during parts of the movie. Why is it cute and kind of acceptable for Meryl Streep to smoke pot? I mean not according to the MPAA, they did after all give the movie an R rating; I feel like if Meryl's kids were smoking pot and acting the way she and Steve Martin were acting, there would have been a significantly lesser amount of senior citizens snickering in their seats.

You can't go wrong with Meryl Streep. I love Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin is always great in these types of roles (pseudo-serious). It's Complicated is pretty entertaining albeit seemingly pointless and definitely forgettable.

Did You Hear About the Morgans?

No.

Did You Hear About The Morgans? is a stupid movie with a stupid title. My response to the title is "No, what? Who the fuck are the Morgans?" and rightfully so since even in the fictional world the movie takes place in, the Morgan's are nobody. He's a lawyer and she's in real-estate. Who cares what happened to them?

Plus, there really wasn't much to tell. The Morgan's witnessed a murder and entered the Witness Protection program for a week. The whole thing ends so anticlimactically that I was barely aware that the movie was over.

Did You Hear About the Morgans? is such a colossal waste of money on the studios part (and subsequently the part of the suckers who pay money to see it) that I actually think it was irresponsible of the studio to release it in our current economic climate. Fuck it... they shouldn't have made it at all.

Paper Heart

Yes.

Paper Heart was released in theatre on 8/7/09 and on DVD and Blu-ray on 12/1/09.

Paper Heart is a strange mixture of documentary and fiction. The film starts out as a documentary in which comedian Charlyne Yi travels cross-country to ask people from different backgrounds to define 'love'. When Charlyne, who has never been in love and who doesn't believe in love, meets fellow performer Michael Cera, sparks begin to fly and the movie transforms into a "documentary" about a girl (Yi) who doesn't believe in love, grappling with emotions that she doesn't understand and the effects her issues have on those around her.

What's super interesting about this film is that Yi and Cera were actually dating at the time (I'm not aware of their current relationship status). Many of the tender moments between the two required little acting, but the awkward moments that (for the most part) dissolve when you really get to know someone are all so natural that you really might think this was an actual documentary if I hadn't ruined the effect for you by telling you that the whole thing was scripted... sorry, by the way.

If you're looking for an interesting, down-to-earth, funny romantic comedy/mock-documentary (or mockumentary as we call it in the biz) give Paper Heart a rent. It'll make you smile.

The Proposal

Yes.

The Proposal was released in theatres on 6/19/09 and on DVD and Blu-ray on 10/13/09.

I actually liked The Proposal. It's a super formulaic rom-com and you already know how it's going to end even if you haven't seen it yet. Bullock does and OK job playing the bitchy boss-lady. Her bitchiness was apparent more due to the reactions of the people around her than the actions of her character. Reynolds plays the same better than average looking every guy that he plays in all the romantic comedies he's in. His ability to ground these kinds of movies helps to elevate them above the common chick flick.

It's easier to recommend since it's available for home viewing, although I think that I would still mildly recommend it if it were still in theatres.

Love Happens

... bull shit. I saw this movie and I don't remember a single moment when the actions on the screen could me misconstrued as "love".

There's a man and a woman. They're both very attractive, save for Aaron Eckhart's chin cave. But at no point did i believe anything other than the fact that she feels bad for him and he needed to get back in the game. There was never any kind of connection. At all. Soooooo... No, you should not see a movie that has a title that has nothing to do with the plot. No.

Away We Go

Yes.

Away We Go was released in theatres on 6/26/09 and on DVD and Blu-ray on 9/29/09.

I loved this movie. Away We Go is a heartwarming road-trip movie about two thirty-somethings trying to find their place in the world before the birth of their daughter.

As in other road trip movies, they encounter some quirky characters along the way and each stop helps them discover who they are and what kind of parents they want to be. Hey, I never said it was original... but the two main characters, portrayed by John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph, are so endearing and have such chemistry that you can't help but fall in love with them.

Away We Go is in my top 10 films this year and will probably stay there. It's definitely one of the year's best.

(500) Days of Summer

Yes.

Am I allowed to just say that I smiled throughout the whole movie? I did. It really was a very nice movie; clever, witty, and entertaining.

500 Days of Summer really is the anti-romantic comedy. I'm having a really hard time coming up with anything else to write because nothing stands out as overly great, but I also have absolutely no complaints about it either. I'm gonna cut this one short by reiterating that I just really enjoyed the 95 minutes I spent watching this movie. I highly recommend it.

Post Grad

ugch.

This movie is not acceptable for anyone. I know that when they were writing, filming, and editing Post Grad, I was the furthest thing from their mind, but it sure doesn't feel that way. I'm white, have a wacky family, a job that doesn't support my lifestyle, and want everyone to feel bad for me. It's like they're telling my life story... The fact is that I'm pretty sure the filmmakers don't even know who their target demographic was.

If they're looking to lure in post grads or anybody at all, Alexis Bledel was the wrong choice. She is completely unconvincing as anything, let alone a human being. She certainly isn't capable of conveying the plight of an unemployed college graduate... to be honest, I didn't really believe her as a high school graduate looking for her pants. She's not really capable of portraying a character with more than one dimension, and that really is a "must-have" characteristic of any actor, in any movie, ever.

Let's talk about the supporting cast for a moment. WHAT?!? Michael Keaton? Jane Lynch?? Carol Burnett??? Rodrigo Santoro???? It's sad enough to see Carol Burnett being put out to pasture like this, but I was destroyed to see the final half of Lost's Nikki and Paolo juggernaut being reduced to a soulless wisp of a character with absolutely no substance. First Nikki in A Perfect Getaway... now this???

On a serious note, I think the creators of Post Grad had this movie backwards, if there really is one here at all. If I'm a producer, and you come to me with the idea for what Post Grad ended up being... I laugh in your face. If you come to me with Michael Keaton, Jane Lynch, and Carol Burnett as the main characters in a movie where the daughter graduating from college and moving back home is a subplot... and starring almost anyone but Alexis Bledel... you're on a much less rocky path to the big screen. I will never understand how some movies get green-lit...