Snow Angels

Yes.

Snow Angels was released in theatres on 3/7/08 and on DVD on 9/16/08.

It's difficult to suggest that anyone see Snow Angels because of how upsetting it is. Everything else about it, everything, makes it so easy to recommend. The writing, the performances, the chemistry of the actors, the relationships of the characters, the direction, the cinematography... everything.

I'm anxious to see how the Oscar nominations play out this year. Kate Beckinsale's and Sam Rockwell's performances are staggeringly powerful. Unfortunately, this movie might go unrecognized simply because it didn't get a wide release. I'm stunned by the fact that David Gordon Green could go from directing Snow Angels to Pineapple Express in the same year.

There's something about this movie that reminded me of American Beauty. I couldn't figure out why and I started to scan some other reviews, professional reviews, to see if anyone else could put my thought into words. There really are no parallels between the two stories so I didn't necessarily think that someone else would have made the direct connection, but then I found this and it happens to be exactly what I was feeling but couldn't put my finger on: "It’s one of the most relentlessly honest and bleakly disturbing mirrors to American despair since American Beauty." - Rex Reed of the New York Observer.

I've cried at 5 movies in my life (one of them was because I misunderstood what was going on, but that's a different story) this was one of them. Not, like, sobbing crying, but I have to say I actually shed a tear. Snow Angels is a perfectly made, depression inducing, beautiful film.

Meet the Spartans

I didn't smile once.

Righteous Kill

No.

To be honest, I really didn't hate Righteous Kill. The reason I can't recommend it is not because I wasn't entertained, it's because the movie was so poorly structured that it ruined itself.

I knew how it would end from the very first shot of the movie. They proceed to try to trick you into thinking that someone is the killer by adding in things that would make sense if that person was the killer. Then, when the big reveal happens, they thought we would be so shocked that we wouldn't remember their nonsensically deliberate attempts to throw us off course. I wasn't shocked at all and now I'm stuck trying to understand why the actual killer felt the need to do the things that he did when he said he had to "change the rules". His actions are irrelevant to the plot and didn't help his cause at all.

While it really didn't make sense as a whole, it was fun to watch. De Niro, Pacino, Wahlberg, and Leguizamo all had good chemistry on screen and I enjoyed the movie as a result. I can't, however, in good conscience, recommend Righteous Kill.

Alternatives to Righteous Kill: Heat, The Departed, The Dark Knight

Shutter

No.

Shutter was released in theatres on 3/21/08 and on DVD and Blu-ray on 7/15/08.

We've seen it all before. Shutter comes from the same people who brought us The Ring and The Grudge... so here are my questions: Is this the best that Japan has to offer? Do the Japanese have absolutely no imagination? Obviously I'm concerned about Americans as well; we keep rehashing Japan's rehashes. I'm pretty sure I'll never understand it. Why would this project get greenlit? Did someone actually think that this was something that needed to be brought to an American audience? Did that person see The Ring, The Ring Two, The Grudge, The Grudge 2, One Missed Call, The Eye, Dark Water, or Pulse?

THEY'RE ALL THE SAME MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, this has to stop.

College Road Trip

No.

College Road Trip was released in theatres on 3/7/08 and on DVD and Blu-ray on 7/15/08.

I'm not going to lie. I didn't watch College Road Trip. I have no desire to see it and I'm not really willing to sacrifice my time for it. The truth is, although I can tolerate him if the material is there, I really don't like Martin Lawrence. I despise Donny Osmond... and the entire Osmond family... I'm not really sure why since I only know Donny and Marie... maybe that's why, actually. The other reasons that I'm not willing to waste my time watching it are:

1. There's a pig in the front seat of the car on the poster.

2. It's a G rated movie about someone having a college experience.

3. There's a pig in the front seat of the car on the poster.

4. Donny Osmond tries to act annoying in it... Seeing as how he already is annoying, I can't imagine wanting to live through his interpretation of what annoying would be.

5. Snow Angels comes out on Tuesday and if I return this disc to Netflix, I might have a chance of getting it before it's availability status changes from "Now" to "Very Long Wait".

Burn After Reading

Yes.

What a silly bunch of people. I can't say too much about Burn After Reading because I don't want to give anything away. What I will say is that the humor is so dry that it's almost non-existent. Actually, it is non-existent for the first 30-45 minutes of the movie. Then, if you don't get the joke, you won't like the movie. Throughout the entire movie you'll wonder what the hell is going on... and at the end, you'll realize that you were right all along.

My first hint as to what was going on was the score. The music is so over-the-top for what is happening in so many of the scenes, that I knew something was up with the movie as a whole, not just in that particular scene.

I have to say that with such a huge A-list cast, surprisingly, the best part of this movie is J.K Simmons and his CIA staff. Brilliant. Brad Pitt was hysterical, George Clooney over-acted his part to perfection. I really don't like John Malkovich, but this role seemed like it was written for him. Frances McDormand's cool subtlety was the perfect contrast to Pitt and Clooney's goofiness.

I will be shocked if this isn't nominated for a writing award... then again, for reasons I can't disclose, I'll be shocked if it is nominated, too. I'd like to see it again now that I know what the Coen Brothers were going for. I wouldn't call myself a Coen Brothers fan, but I did love Fargo, and this is in that vein.

Go see Burn After Reading and stick with it all the way through. It all might make sense in the end.

Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns

If you're black, yes. If you're not, watch it if you want to... it's not bad.

Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns was released in theatres on 3/21/08 and on DVD and Blu-ray on 7/1/08.

So, in preparation for the second Tyler Perry release of 2008, The Family That Preys, I thought I might check out the first. After all, The Family That Preys has white people in it, so we're kind of obligated to see it.

Meet the Browns is formulaic. If there were someone else here when I watched it, I would have been able to tell them exactly what would happen well before it actually did. Then again, if there were someone else here, I probably wouldn't have been watching Meet the Browns. It really is just a glorified Lifetime movie and to be perfectly honest, the only thing that bumps it up a notch is Angela Bassett.

I'm trying to figure out the whole Madea thing. (S)he's not funny... and in this particular movie, not necessary. She's only in one scene and that scene comes out of nowhere and is never spoken of again. Now, I haven't been following the character, but it seems like it's lame-ass Eddie Murphy/Martin Lawrence stuff. With the popularity of these movies, I thought they would be above that kind of nonsense. Unfortunately not.

Madea aside, Meet the Browns isn't unbearable and I've said that about much worse movies, too.

Prom Night (2008)

No.

Prom Night was released in theatres on 4/11/08 and on DVD and Blu-ray on 8/19/08.

Prom Night wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It was worse.

I didn't see the original, but times have changed. Parent-teacher organizations, local governments, and even some straight laced students have completely altered the prom experience. When I was growing up, I expected prom to be KRAZY!!!!!! Sex, drugs, and alcohol galore. What it has turned into, however, is basically just time donated by adult chaperons to keep kids off the streets. I hate the hypocrisy of it. Adults are so overprotective that they won;t allow kids to live out their senior proms the way their parents did when they were in high school.

The only reason I brought that up is because with all of the stories I've been hearing about schools canceling senior proms or turning them into family events and shit, the producers didn't feel the need to include the changing society in the screenplay. Yes, there are still some schools that are having proms, but I guarantee you that there is more than one chaperon at them and that they are not being held in hotels. If they are being held in hotels, I'm sure that the school has set up rules that prevent the students from getting rooms. They could have had more chaperone's at the hotel that were also getting killed. They could have had the prom take place in the school auditorium and implied that the sex scenes were going to take place in the classrooms or locker room. There's plenty of opportunity to kill off students if they're sneaking around an empty school. The ways that the students come up with to turn prom into what it used to be could be the things that are ultimately getting them killed.

They have to deliberately show the characters turning off their cell phones and taking the hotel room phone off the hook so that people can't get in touch with them... but what makes it worse is that they don't use the phones to make contact anyway, they are constantly going to and from the room to give messages to each other. I have a problem with the fact that these kids, within a two hour time period, make 5 trips up to their suite giving the killer ample opportunity to kill them. Also, the story had little to do with prom at all... all of the killings happened in or en route to or from the hotel room.

The movie was never scary, never funny, and never sad. I had no feelings for any of the characters, the killer could have wiped them all out for all I cared.

Prom Night sucks.

Nim's Island

Should you see it? No. Should your kids see it? Sure, why not.

Nim's Island was released in theatres on 4/4/08 and on DVD and Blu-ray on 8/5/08.

As far as family adventure stories go, Nim's Island wasn't bad. There's been far worse kiddie fare released this year (Star Wars: The Clone Wars) and I'm sure there is still some crap to come (Beverly Hills Chihuahua). It does not, however even come close to the standards of Wall-E, Kung Fu Panda, Horton Hears a Who, and The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. In my rankings of this years movies, I put Nim's Island just below Journey to the Center of the Earth and The Spiderwick Chronicles.

Because it's a kids movie, and I suppose the source material didn't help with this, the directors feel that they have to rely on animal humor. Nim's friends, Fred the Lizard, Galileo the Pelican, and Selki the Seal all convey human emotions with noises and movements. They also help ward off unwanted guests, and clean up and rebuild after a storm. Also, it was kind of disappointing, as an adult, to know that Nim and her dad are living on a volcanic island, and the volcano never erupts. I assumed that, in the end, they would need to leave the island when it erupted and then go back and pick up the pieces.

If you're looking for something to watch with your kids, you could do much better than Nim's Island, but you won't be bored out of your skull.