The House Bunny

Actually, yes. You can wait till DVD, though, it's no rush.

I found myself struggling desperately not to smile, to suppress my laughter. But some of the things that Shelly (Anna Farris) said were too funny to deny. As girly a movie as The House Bunny is, I still found it to be mildly entertaining. When she is teaching the girls of Zeta house about eye make-up and says, "The eyes are the nipples of the face", I had to crack a smile. Some statements just didn't make any sense at all like "my heart is racing like a nail." Those are the things that made me lose my "cool".

The House Bunny is most certainly going to become a Broadway musical at some point down the road. It has the same appeal as Legally Blonde. I didn't see Legally Blonde, but I assume that the themes are similar and that the quality of acting and film making are identical.

Anna Farris was perfectly cast in this role and played it over-the-top as the material suggested. I thought it was a little racy for some of the younger viewers that are coming to see it. I was totally weirded out when a man in the theatre, who was there with what I can only hope was his daughter and her friends, laughed very loudly at a comment in the movie made by a frat guy about how he'd never gotten drunk enough for a "hot lunch". Obviously the term "hot lunch" isn't used in the movie, but that's what they were talking about. Try explaining that to your daughter.

The House Bunny is not a good movie. There is an establishing shot of the Playboy mansion that is clearly a painting, and a reflection of people in a handheld mirror that is so disproportionate to where the people are that it looks like a video is playing in Shelly's make-up case. It's funny enough, however, to recommend for people who will be able to tolerate it.

What Happens in Vegas

No.

What Happens in Vegas was released in theatres on 5/9/08 and on DVD and Blu-ray on 8/26/08.

What a colorful movie. And it mostly takes place in New York. I'm trying to say nice things about it. Uhh... Cameron Diaz finally got back to looking like an older version of the girl we fell in love with in The Mask instead of a skinny chicken legged, big mouthed annoyance. That's about it, though... oh, it looked really good in hi-def.

What's wrong with it, then? It spells out all of the jokes. It thinks it's audience is a bunch of idiots. I guess that's kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy because by making the joke accessible to idiots, they are attracting idiots to watch the movie. For example, there is a sequence in the movie (which was almost entirely in the trailers) where the screenplay experiments with cause and effect. The problem is, they show you the effect (which is supposed to be surprising) literally in the next scene, not to mention in the trailer for the movie, so it's never really a surprise at all. My point is, if you show her training him, like a dog, to put the toilet seat down; instead of immediately showing her get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and falling in the toilet because he removed the seat... SAVE IT! Don't give-in to the short attention spans of idiots. Most people would appreciate the respect anyway. Wait a while. Have her fall in the toilet later. Make us remember. It's funnier when you forget the set up. She showed him how to put the toilet seat down in the morning and then it jumped to that night. Almost any part of the movie could have taken place that day to make us forget that she had treated him like a child earlier and that he might want to get revenge somehow.

What Happens in Vegas is instant gratification fluff for people who don't like to think. It's got flashy lights and pretty people doing funny things. It's a clown show and it's not worth the time I took to write this. I'm outta here.

Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day

Yes.

Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day was released in theatres on 3/7/08 and on DVD on 8/19/08.

Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day is nothing if not for Amy Adams and Frances McDormand. I realize that that may sound like a bad thing, but it's not intended to. The movie is endearing in it's simplicity. The 92 minute running time seems to fly by because there are no heavy subplots. Characters are developed through the actions that make up the plot. We learn enough about them in the moments after they are introduced to become emotionally invested enough to care about the outcome of their situations.

Amy Adams is bright and bubbly as always, yet she is talented enough to distinguish this bubbly role from her last two bubbly roles (Enchanted, Junebug). As much as I enjoyed her performances in those movies, I'd like to see her in something a little darker... just to see if she can do it. Frances McDormand is subtle and vibrant at the same time. Miss Pettigrew is a brash, old-fashioned, opinionated, yet, completely insecure woman who, while helping Delysia (Adams) learn that "love is not a game", finds love for herself. When a movie is released that I have absolutely no desire to see, as soon as I find out that McDormand is in it, my expectations go up a little bit. Her understated performances are the kind that keep you thinking about them long after the movie has ended.

The movie itself is just "nice". The story is nice, the music is nice, the sets are nice... Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day is a really nice movie.

College

No.

I feel bad for kids going off to college this year. Throughout the years there have been quite a few movies about graduation/summer before college. Superbad, Accepted, American Pie, American Pie 2, Can't Hardly Wait, etc. All of the above are infinitely better than College.

College wants to be Superbad just as much as, if not more than Drillbit Taylor. The three kids fit the descriptions of Seth, Evan and McLovin and they have essentially the same personality traits.

The frat guys at the college are over-the-top and contradictory. As a joke, they send our "heroes" to an all frat party without telling them that it's an all gay frat house and then proceed to haze them in one of the most homoerotic party scenes I've ever seen. It actually made me a bit uncomfortable.

To exact revenge on said frat guys the three main characters turn into the illegitimate love child of Kevin McCallister and MacGyver. They put glue on the toilet seat, they release diarhetic pigs in the house and set off the fire sprinklers which they've rigged to spray beer all over the house. All this in one night while everyone in the fraternity house is sleeping.

Obviously, the movie is ridiculous, the acting is horrible, and the dialogue is silly. There are plenty of alternatives to choose from, and I encourage you to do so... stay away from College at all costs.

Alternatives to College: American Pie, Can't Hardly Wait, Animal House, 10 Things I Hate About You.

Hamlet 2

No...

I just wrote a long review of this movie and when I clicked submit, I got a generic internet "cannot open this page" error message. When I clicked on the "back" arrow there was no review.

Maybe later I'll attempt to rewrite the genious that was my original review of this movie, but for now, just know that Hamlet 2 was a disappointment.

Step Brothers

No.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. It's rare to see a comedy that doesn't make you laugh at least once and I do remember laughing during Step Brothers. I just don't remember exactly what happened that made me laugh.

John C. Reilly was nominated for an Oscar. He's actually a pretty talented actor, I don't know what happened. He was in Casualties of War, Days of Thunder, Hoffa, What's Eating Gilbert Grape?, Boogie Nights, The Thin Red Line, Magnolia, The Perfect Storm, The Good Girl, Chicago, and The Aviator. Tallageda Nights was a gateway drug and it's been downhill ever since. Someone needs to organize an intervention for him and get him off whatever happy pills Will Ferrell has been slipping him.

Will Ferrell is a fucking cock-tease (and I mean that in the most hetero way possible). He has been making crap movies forever and then he goes and makes Winter Passing, Melinda and Melinda, and Stranger than Fiction. I get all excited because I LOVE Will Ferrell in serious roles. Then he stops doing them. I'm going to call him Jim Carrey from now on.

Step Brothers has one joke in it: they're children in grown-up bodies. Their parents are enablers and while I'm almost 30 and still living at home, at least I'm mature enough to recognize how pathetic it is. These two buffoons think it's OK... that's the gag... drawn out for an hour and 45 minutes. I can't imagine that there is anyone in the world like these two characters, but the only characters more pathetic that Dale and Brennen, are their parents. How do you wait until your kid is 40-years old to insist that they grow up, get a job. These are the worst (clean and sober) parents ever put on film.

If you haven't seen Step Brothers already then you probably have no desire to see it anyway, but for your own sake, don't rent it when it's on DVD.

Alternatives to Step Brothers: The 40-Year Old Virgin, Superbad, Wedding Crashers.

Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins

No.

Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins was released in theatres on 2/8/08 and on DVD on 6/17/08.

Netflix shipped Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins to me on July 14th and I just couldn't bring myself to watch it until today. I have to say, there were a few glimmers of acceptable movie there, but overall, it was pretty much crap.

If physical/stupid humor is your thing, then you might like it, but Roscoe Jenkins relies way too heavily on dog sex, skunk sprays, over-the-top sibling rivalry.

This movie was essentially a black version of Meet the Parents in reverse (in Roscoe Jenkins, Martin Lawrence is bringing his fiancee home to meet his parents... and his visit is similar to Ben Stiller's in Meet the Parents). You know everything is going to work out in the end for the characters who deserve it even though there are some bumps along the way.

The best part of Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins was the outtakes. This is an incredibly funny group of people and when they weren't reading from a screenplay, I found myself laughing out loud. Even during the movie when it was clear that they were allowed to improvise I found myself laughing. Unfortunately, the funny parts aren't really worth sitting through the movie.

Alternatives to Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins: Little Miss Sunshine, Meet the Parents

Death Race

If you watch NASCAR for the car crashes, you play GTA just to drive on the sidewalks, run people over and drive into buildings, or you like Jason Statham movies, then yes, you should see Death Race.

The bottom line is that this is a last ditch effort to rake in some cash before summer's end. Unfortunately for Universal, the marketplace is way too crowded right now for Death Race to make much of an impact on their pocketbooks. With Tropic Thunder gaining momentum through word-of-mouth buzz, The Rocker, The House Bunny, Star Wars, Mirrors and of course The Dark Knight out there and with Hamlet 2 on the way, this R rated actioner doesn't really stand a chance of earning much for it's producers. I'd never realized how much of a dumping ground the end of August was.

As for the movie itself? It's a Jason Statham movie. Think Crank meets The Transporter. Death Race's biggest flaw it the fact that it's non-stop action. "... flaw?" you ask. Yes, flaw. I was so bored with the action that I was actually nodding off at the end of the movie. The few non-action scenes were a relief and might have actually held my attention if they were any good.

Also, Paul W.S. Anderson needs to not make movies anymore. This was written and directed by him and it shows. He is the same man as was behind Alien vs. Predator. There is one scene in Death Race where Tyrese's car is out of comission. He tells his navigator that they have to "... get back in this race!!!!" The movie cuts to a scene with Statham and then cuts back to Tyrese driving at full speed yelling "I'm Back!!" with absolutely no explanation as to how he fixed the car.

This really is just wall to wall action, so if that's what you're looking for, then see Death Race.

Alternatives to Death Race: The Fugitive, The Fast and the Furious, Fight Club, Crank, and The Condemned

Strange Wilderness

No.

I stopped watching Strange Wilderness when Steve Zahn's character, while urinating, was attacked by an ostrich thus lodging his penis in the ostrich's throat. His colleagues took him to the hospital where the doctor told a sexy nurse to massage the ostrich's neck in order to relax it. What they didn't think of was the possibility that the sexy nurse might be giving Zahn's character an erection making it more difficult to resolve thi issue...

I don't know how it all worked out because I turned the movie off.

Alternatives to Strange Wilderness: Star Wars: The Clone Wars