Take Me Home Tonight

No.

It's hard to imagine that upon it's release in, say 1951, a movie that takes place in 1928 would feel as corny as a movie that takes place in 1988 would feel to a viewer in 2011. Between Take Me Home Tonight and Hot Tub Time Machine, we've gotten the nostalgia out of the way; can someone now, please, make a serious period film that takes place in the 80's? Is it even possible?

I'm not 100% convinced it is, actually, but it's hard to believe there isn't a talented director who could get past the hair, clothes and popular music to create a meaningful film that doesn't rely on Max Headroom-esque gags.

Take Me Home Tonight was never intended to be a serious 1980's period film... but then why make it? Is it Topher Grace's quest to take part in a production, saturated with the pop culture and fashion of each specific decade? Did they feel like last year's Hot Tub Time Machine hadn't gotten it right?

There are a lot of unanswered questions in this review and I honestly don't have the answer for any of them. If you wanna see a party movie where a hopeless romantic uses his one last chance to try to get the girl of his dreams, check out Can't Hardly Wait. It's WAY better, PG-13, slightly more realistic, and significantly less corny. I wonder what it would have looked like if it were made in 2019.

Red Riding Hood

No.

Red Riding Hood was just another excuse to have very pretty boys fighting over an average looking girl. Oh, and I forgot to say werewolf.

It is truly amazing how they are able to stay so clean living in the dirt. They all have perfect teeth and skin, even though this takes place in a time when the answer to all of your dental problems was to rip out the tooth and Lubriderm and Oil of Olay weren't consistently stocked in the skincare aisle at CVS. I don't think there was a single ugly person living in the town that Red Riding Hood takes place.

This is trite, rehashed Twilight crap for teenaged girls, and even they aren't buying into it. Don't even bother looking for this on DVD.

The Wolfman

Eh, nah.

The Wolfman is just OK. When I go to see a movie about a legend, I expect to see where the legend comes from. When the characters in this movie begin using silver bullets to kill The Wolfman, it shows that we are joining this thing in the middle and that the legend already exists. I was kind of expecting to see them learning how to kill the beast for the first time, but that's now what this film is about.

What the movie is about, is betrayal and lies within a family. So... it's a soap opera. A gory one to be sure, and certainly well made and acted, but still just an oldee time soap opera... with a werewolf.