RockNRolla

Eh... nah.

RocknRolla is the next film in a string of forgettable Guy Ritchie movies. I saw Lock Stock... and I saw Snatch, I don't remember what they were about and I guarantee that when the next Guy Ritchie movie comes out (The Real RockNRolla?) I won't remember what RockNRolla was about.

It all starts out seemingly complicated. I probably just didn't understand what was going on because British witty banter is almost always unintelligible to an American listener. By the time I finished my British to American Rosetta Stone audio tapes, the movie had reduced down to a quirky action comedy with no real point. Something about a "lucky painting" and double jeopardy robberies and then there's the RockNRolla. I'm not really sure why he was in the movie.

The stories all tie together at the end and while I was watching it it all felt important, but the truth is, as entertaining as it was, I feel like it was a waste of time.

Made of Honor

Obviously, no.

Made of Honor was released in theatres on 5/2/08 and on DVD and Blu-ray on 9/16/08.

But here's the thing... I'm not really sure why it was shit on so hard by critics... yes, it's the same cotton candy crap again, but it was fine for what it was. Did I like it? Nooo. Was it poorly made? Also no.

Don't see it, but if you like that kind of fluff it's not the worst movie out there.

Sex and the City

No.

Sex and the City was released in theatres on 5/30/08 and on DVD and Blu-ray on 9/23/08.

It took me 4 sittings and after all that, nothing. I never watched the show except for a few minutes here and there on the CW late at night. The characters are made to seem deep with superficial tendencies, but they really are just superficial. There is nothing special or interesting about any of them. It's not that I don't know them either. I didn't need to have seen any of the episodes to "get" the characters... there really is nothing about the characters' character that needed to be developed.

The movie went nowhere. I felt like it should have ended halfway through... which is probably one of the points that I stopped watching. I guess there was nothing technically wrong with the movie and I know I'm not exactly it's target audience, but there really is no reason to watch the Sex and the City movie.

88 Minutes

No.

88 Minutes was released in theatres on 4/18/08 and on DVD and Blu-ray on 9/16/08.

Terrible. 88 Minutes is the worst acted, written and most poorly directed and edited movie of the year. I honestly don't even know where to start.

They've got Al Pacino running around, diving out of the way of motorcycles and firetrucks. People get shot, hanged and gutted, a building caught on fire and a car explodes and Pacino's student's reaction is an exasperated "ugh, what next?!?" Actually... watch it to see how bad it is. It's hysterically shitty.

Pride & Glory

No.

This time I wasn't just being lazy. Usually, when my page has a movie listed that simply states "Review coming soon", it's because I saw the movie already and was just being lazy when it came to writing the review. This time was different though... this time, I couldn't decide whether you should see it or not.

The performances were strong, the direction was fine, and as far as gritty cop dramas go... this was as gritty as they get. Unfortunately, the material just wasn't there. This was a rehash of nothing... we've seen it all before and there was nothing there the first time. It's your basic corrupt cop movie during which nothing out of the ordinary happens. We all know how it's going to end from the beginning and yet the filmmakers feel the need to drag it out for 2 and a half hours.

The movie was about how the family bond can corrupt you... IE. his brother can commit a crime and then even a law enforcement officer would struggle with whether or not to commit another crime to cover for him. You'll do anything for family. Yet they didn't really show how the final decisions affected their family. Once the plot of the movie played out... the movie ended. If they wanted us to care about these people we needed some kind of a wrap up. How did the mother and sister handle it... the kids that were directly affected... there was too much character development for them not to give us some kind of payoff as far as the characters were concerned. A simple montage at the end or a news report would have sufficed.

If not for the cursing and the brutal violence this could have been a decent story arc for a television series... hell but it on HBO and you can leave the cursing and the violence in... but make a 2 hour movie about it? There isn't enough time to develop the plot and the characters and wrap everything up nicely. Don't bother with Pride and Glory.

Bigger, Stronger, Faster*

Yes.

Bigger, Stronger, Faster was released in theatres on 5/30/08 and on DVD on 9/30/08.

Bigger, Stronger, Faster examines the steroid use of the director and his two brothers who all grew up idolizing Arnold Schwarzenegger, Hulk Hogan, and Sylvester Stallone.

Beyond the basic issue of anabolic steroid use, Bigger, Stronger, Faster* examines the lack of consistency in how America views drugs, cheating, and the lengths people go to achieve success. This includes looking beyond the steroid issue to such topics as laser eye correction, use of anxiety reducing drugs, and cortisone shots; a legal steroid.

The issue of steroid use in sports is one that has absolutely no effect on me. I don't participate in any sports nor do I bet on them. I couldn't care less about the health ramifications of steroid use because steroids are not in any way a part of my life. Yet, for some reason, I was totally enthralled with this movie. Maybe it's the principal of the matter. The lack of evidence that steroids is harmful was interesting to me as was the plethora of legal performance enhancing techniques that students, musicians, and athletes use to win win win (Beta Blockers, Adderol, Cortisone).

The movie takes a long hard look at the American way of life and how everyone needs to be Bigger, Stronger, Faster, Better, and Smarter. The director, while admitting that all drugs are dangerous (including alcohol and tobacco), examines the hypocrisy of singling out anabolic steroids as a performance enhancing drug when there are other perfectly legal ways of un-leveling the playing field in your favor other than developing your natural talent. It is a well made, personal examination of how the American way of life affects us all.

Boy A

Yes.

Boy A was released in theatres on 7/28/08 and on DVD on 10/7/08.

You know how after you've been living paycheck to paycheck for a while and you finally decide it's time to start saving for your future, but then you're car breaks down and you have to spend all of the money you've saved to get it fixed? Or let's say you're really overweight and you get stranded on a deserted island with nothing to do but walk around and eat healthy food but then, mysteriously, a crate filled with candy bars, potato chips and ranch dressing falls from the sky. That's what Boy A is on a much grander scale.

Who deserves an opportunity to try again? Who gets to decide? If you have legally fulfilled your obligation to society as sentenced by the court, what gives anyone else the right to judge you? Who really is the bad guy in this movie? There are a lot of questions there and the filmmakers behind Boy A don't presume to know the answers, they simply tell a story about a two kids who make a horrifying decision that changes their lives forever.

All aspects of the film's production are exceptional from the story and the direction to the acting and the cinematography. The more you get to know these characters the more you dread finding out how and why it all started as well as how and why it all ends. Boy A is an absolutely stunning piece of work that everyone should make a point of seeing.

W.

No.

Forget for a moment about how I feel about George W. Bush. This was just a bad movie in a string of bad Oliver Stone movies. World Trade Center wasn't terrible, but Nicholas Cage was in it. Alexander, Any Given Sunday, and U Turn? What happened to him? This is the same guy that made JFK, Platoon, Born on the Fourth of July and Natural Born Killers. It's like he forgot how to make good movies.

I can't tell from W. whether Oliver Stone likes or dislikes still-President Bush. It would seem as if he doesn't from the movies content, but he also leads us to believe that the president is misunderstood; hat he's a likable frat guy; a "joe six pack". The fact of the matter is, if the movie is accurate, the still-president is pretty pathetic... and that's frightening.

It seems as if, his whole life, George Jr. had never accomplished anything without daddy's help. Well when H.W. disapproved of him running for president, Georgie saw that as an opportunity to prove that he could do it on his own. Unfortunately for us, he could. Throughout the movie an unqualified man makes decisions for an entire nation as per the advise of his unqualified advisers. The fact that this is art imitating life, and not just art, is sad. These clowns led us into two wars and the worst economic crisis of our generation. He made bad decisions followed by horrible leadership and he's supposed to be the protagonist. I knew it would be a difficult sell, but I really hoped Stone would be able to pull it off. He couldn't.

Quarantine

No.

The image on the poster is the end of the movie. They showed this scene in the the trailer and I thought, "they couldn't possibly be showing the final shot of the movie..." but when I hadn't seen the lead being dragged away, and everyone else was dead, it became clear that their entire advertising plan was devised around giving away the end of the movie. Since they didn't care, neither do I. Everyone dies. The events of the movie are pointless because it all leads to nothing.

The movie begins with what felt like 4 hours of unnecessary setup. The reporter who is shadowing the fire department for a show called "The Late Shift", misses a call and then spends all night paling around with the fire fighters. We didn't need all of that setup, if she had gotten on the truck for the call that she missed, we all would have gotten it. The movie would have been 20 minutes shorter... which would have been a good thing.

The movie then sets up rules only to contradict them. The infected victims become zombies very quickly, but the little girl who owned the dog that brought the disease into the building has been living with it right up until they realize that her dog spread the disease... at which point she attacks her mother and scurries off into the darkness.

The movie really isn't worth discussing so I'll end this by begging everyone to avoid this movie at all costs.