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Water for Elephants
Water for Elephants is Titanic at the circus. The movie is set up exactly the same except with an old man reminiscing about the events that led up to a tragic circus accident rather than an old woman reminiscing about the events leading up to...
All of the players are there the poor homeless boy that shouldn't be there to begin with who then impresses a wealthy woman with his unforeseeable talents. The wealthy woman, controlled by an overbearing, tyrannical man who feels that he owns her, is easily seduced by, and falls in love with the poor penniless sitar player and the two must hide their love for fear of societal pressures and the wrath of her husband.
It's animal torture porn for a bit and then we slowly make our way to the "event" that defined this man's life... that changed everything... the event that brings him to tears from the mere sight of a picture of the old circus.
Nothing happens. The dangerous animals get loose and scare the crap out of everyone, but as you learn early on, the cats have no teeth. The only person injured in the event is the asshole that was keeping the star-crossed lovers apart. Through narration, we learn that the circus was dismantled as a result and the two lovers have a long fulfilling life together raising children, leading to the eventual death of his wife from natural causes. That's how it ends.
There are several movies that I deem a waste of time because they are poorly made or unnecessary remakes. Water for Elephants is a waste of time because nothing happens in the entire 2 hour and 15 minute running time.