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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

I know that there isn't much I can say to stop you from seeing this blather, but I have to try... it's for your own good.


The main reason you shouldn't see this movie is out of respect for the previous films. To be honest, I'm not a huge fan of Raiders of the Lost Ark but it introduced the character effectively and led to, what I believe to be, two of the greatest adventures ever put on film. You'd think that with a history including drinking from the cup of Christ and recovering the Cross of Coronado, that the film makers might want to reference the previous films... not so much. Short of getting a peek of the Ark of the Covenent and seeing a picture of his father and Marcus Brody, it's as if George Lucas wants to ignore the fact that there ever were any other Indy movies.

A screenplay was written by Academy Award nominated writer and director M. Night Shyamalan (The Sixth Sense) but George Lucas didn't like it. The new screenplay was written by Academy Award winning writer Tom Stoppard (Shakespeare in Love), but that one was trashed. Oscar nominated writer Frank Darabont (The Green Mile, The Shawshank Redemption) wrote a screenplay for a fourth Indiana Jones movie, but Lucas rejected that one as well. After three stellar writers were turned away, Lucas went with a screenplay by David Koepp (Zathura, War of the Worlds, Secret Window). This proves that not only is George Lucas not talented himself, but he also can't recognize talent when it's right in front of his stupid face.

The fourth installment has none of the witty banter or believeable action sequences from the original trilogy. At no point did I feel like any of the characters were in danger; they are all such great duckers. I can actually say that I was bored from beginning to end. The special effects looked worse than they did in 1981 and back then, they had none of the capabilities that we have now.

If Steven Speilberg has anything to say about it, in Jurassic Park 4 we'll find out that that the dinosaurs are from outer space. He loves aliens. But I truly want to thank George Lucas. He has proven that the original trilogies of Star Wars and Indiana Jones were flukes. Next on his list of trilogies to destroy are Back to the Future, Lord of the Rings and The Godfather. Someone really should assassinate him.

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