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The Love Guru

no... no... ...

I just looked on to see how long I had to live because I decided, about 10 minutes in, that this is the last Mike Meyers movie I would ever see. It turns out that he has two, count them, one, two movies coming out next year. You know the old saying, "you don't know what you've got till it's gone"? Well, it turns out that Mike Meyers hasn't appeared on screen since 2003!!! Ahh the good ole days.

Interestingly enough, when I got to the Internet Movie Database, I noticed that they neglected to list The Love Guru in Meyers' filmography. He's listed as a writer, producer, and as playing himself in it, but under "Actor", it does not list this movie. I'm not sure what my point is... maybe it's that he can't act and therefore didn't act in this movie... I don't know. Speaking of bad acting, Jessica Alba continues her downward spiral, Verne Troyer hasn't been to any acting classes... ever, and I never thought I'd say this, but I was a little disappointed in Justin Timberlake's acting... I know he was playing a character who's name is Jacques "le Coq" Grande, but he proved he could act in Alpha Dog and Black Snake Moan. He made a bad choice with Southland Tales, but The Love Guru was quite possibly the worst decision he could make if he wants to be taken seriously in the movie industry.

Unfortunately for the unfortunate souls who pay to see this unfortunate movie, Mr. Cinco won't be there to make shadow puppets on the screen while they are watching it. Without his artistry (he was trying to pick Mike Meyers' nose during his unnecessary and irrelevent performance of "More Than Words"), this is just a bad Austin Powers movie... and that's saying a lot.

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