This is not the movie you're looking for.
This is the first movie this year that I walked out on. Star Wars: The Clone Wars might be one of the worst movies ever. I'll update this after I've had time to stew a bit.
More to come.
I want to kill George Lucas. I won't, but if he were to die suddenly, I would be leaping for joy (on the inside). Now, normally, I wouldn't wish death on anyone. This man, however, has single handedly destroyed a his own legacy. If he had left "well-enough" alone (and by well-enough, i mean absolute genius), Lucas would have gone down in history as the man who changed the face of science-fiction by creating the best science-fiction trilogy... ever. He ruined his chances with the completely useless, horribly written, directed, and acted prequels which had inferior special effects to their 1970/80's counterparts. Then he destroyed his name, as far as I'm concerned, this year with the release of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and Star Wars: The Clone Wars.
To defend this movie by saying "it's a kids movie" is insulting to kids. Kids can recognize quality films just as well as most adults. The only difference there should be between kids movies and those geared towards adults is the subject matter and the level of violence and language, the quality doesn't need to be any different.
There is no scroll at the start of the movie like in the other Star Wars films. Someone narrates what should have been in the scroll in 1940's style newsreel dialect. Similar to the newsreels in Starship Troopers. All of the movies in the series (except Sith) were rated PG and yet they weren't too concerned about whether the kids in the audience could read. For some reason, Yoda assigns a Padawan learner to Anakin, even though Anakin is still Obi-Wan's apprentice at that point. His students name is Ashoka, who, if the movie were live-action, would have been played by Hillary Duff or Miley Cyrus. She keeps referring to Anakin Skywalker as "Sky Guy" and Jabba the Hutt's son as "Stinky".
I almost didn't review this movie because I really didn't want to revisit it, so I'm going to stop here, but let me say this: As long as they keep releasing Star Wars movies, I'll keep seeing them, but if I ever see Jabba's gay cousin Zero again, I may have to kill George Lucas.
Alternatives to Star Wars: The Clone Wars: anything.
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