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The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

Fuckin... no.

It's way too late to get into this, I have to work tomorrow... not making movies, by the way, because I don't know how, Rob Cohen.

Check back tonight or Saturday for more.

It's Saturday... and I still can't get over the age difference between Brendan Fraser and the actor that plays his son, Luke Ford. Fraser is 39 years old and Ford is 27 years old... Which means that mathematically, Brendan Fraser's character (Rick) would have been 12 years old when Ford's character (Alex) was born. So, the question is, why didn't the production team make any attempt to change either of the actors' appearance? Of course its possible, make-up, hair, CGI... something to make it so that they don't look like brothers instead of father and son. Or here's a suggestion, change the script so that they are brothers. Wait I have another suggestion, cast someone younger as the son... or even better, scrap the whole damn thing and leave well enough alone. There was absolutely no reason to make this movie anyway.

Another casting issue? Maria Bello taking Rachel Weisz's place in the franchise. Bello is a fine actress, but she was totally hammimg it up in this because, what does she care? She knows the material is ridiculous and it's not really her character, why not have some fun with it? A good rule of thumb is that if an Academy Award winning actress refuses to reprise a role that she created because she doesn't like the script, change the script. If not to make it good so that she'll sign on, then at least to write her character out of it so you don't make the movie worse than the screenplay is already forcing it to be. Wait I have another suggestion, why not just scrap the whole damn thing and leave well enough alone.

So the only way to destroy this "mummy" is to stab it in the heart with a specific knife which is in the possession of the daughter of the witch that put the spell on the "Dragon Emperor" in the first place. I was in complete awe of the absolute stupidity of the screenplay when after discovering that another mummy had been awoken, and that it would try to get to the "pool of eternal youth" by placing a diamond called the "eye of Shangri la" on top of a tower in the Himalayas guarded by abominable snowmen, Fraser's character was a little leery of the idea that a "magical knife" had the power to destroy the Emperor once and for all. He is fighting an undead king from thousands of years ago withe the help of 2000 year old women and snow monsters, and, strangely, he doesn't believe in magic.

Needless to say, this movie is absolute trash. Everything about it is unbelievably unwatchable and I can only hope that no one does so that they end this awful, awful franchise.

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