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Bolt

I think I hate Miley Cyrus... but that's only one of the problems I have with Bolt. No. You should not see Bolt... no.

I have a hard time with the concept that the dog thinks the TV show that he stars in is real. How could you possibly convince anyone... human or not that they had lasers shooting out of their eyes. How long have they been running this special effects based show, without rehearsing or reshooting anything... forget about the dog for a second... the humans are getting everything perfect every time? Doubtful... now throw an animal actor in there that is supposed to have very dangerous abilities all of which they need to actually create convincingly in order to keep up the illusion that Bolt actually has those abilities. Did he actally jump over a helicopter without wires? It just doesn't hold up.

Now I know what you're gonna say... "It's a cartoon!" or "It's a kids movie!"... suspension of disbelief has become unnecessary in the world of what I like to call, the Pixar standard. Yes, Wall-E is about a robot that saves the world, Nemo is about a fish from the ocean, that searches for and finds his son... who isn't in the ocean, and Toy Story is about, well, toys who are alive. They all have aspects to their stories that are absolutely unbelievable, but they all make sense in the world which they inhabit. Wall-E takes place 700(?) years int he future... anything is possible and with the progress of technology over the pas several years, sophisticated A.I. and commercial space travel aren't that ridiculous, nor is the state of the environment. Nemo's dad uses legitimate methods to get to his son. Are they exaggerated? Does the fact that all of the animals speak... and the same language help? Sure. My issue isn't with the fact that Bolt can talk though. Even given the ability to talk, if you're going to set something in the real world, you need to follow real world rules. Bolt's first instinct would be to bite his enemies, this is shown by the padded outfit his trainer wears when he is putting bolt back in his trailer. So why isn't the dog biting any of his enemies on the show. If the dog is going to karate chop his trainer in order to escape, there's no need for the bite suit. It's inconsistent, and as I said earlier, in a world where Pixar movies exist, inconsistencies are unacceptable.

As far as Ms. Cyrus is concerned, I turned on the TV the other day and Hannah Montana was on. I had never seen it before so I left it on to see what all the hullabaloo was about. Miley Cyrus is a horrible actress. Horrible. Everything is over exaggerated, her facial expressions, verbal expressions, actions... they are all over the top, and not in a good way. It was all i could think about while I was watching Bolt. Disney needs to ditch her ASAP. Eventually she's just gonna turn into Lindsey Lohan anyway, they really should get out while they are ahead.

Will kids love Bolt? Yes. If that's all that matters, then you should absolutely take them to see this decently animated adventure about an uncomfortably adorable dog. But this is not, by any means, a good movie. Not by Pixar standards.

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